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[26 Jan 2004|07:02pm] |
Story Or Series Title: My Boredom Fic Oh Jesus.
Location: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1693908
Culprit Author's Name: BudgerigarLT
Summary: Way after End Of Evangelion. Asuka is mad at Shinji for sumthing he didn't do. Asuka lives with her grandma and uncle on a farm, her cousin come visit a lot. A lot of crap. My first evangelion fic
Oh, how I weep for my fandom.
Full Name (plus titles if any): Eiji. There's also Keita.
Full Species(es): Eiji is Asuka's cousin and a real asshole. Keita is the uncle.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not stated.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not stated.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None.
Special Possessions (if any): A monopoly on the word "moaned."
Annoying Origin: The pits of character nondevelopment.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Asuka's cousin. Somehow friends with Shinji, although this is never explained. Keita appears to be the voice of reason.
Annoying Special Abilities: Eiji causes Asuka to randomly turn into a spineless worm.
Other Annoying Traits: Eiji is a huge cocky asshole to everyone. Keita
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
( The author's note. WHY? For the love of God, WHY?! )
( Touching family moments. )
( Sure, sure, rape Asuka some more. )
( The hell? Shinji is friends with Eiji? What kind of plot contrivance is that, and how would Shinji not know that Asuka and Eiji are related? )
( This made me laugh harder than anything else in the entire fic. How does Shinji exist in two places at once? Yay for continuity! )
( The morning after Asuka beats up Shinji for thinking he and Rei are going at it like rabbits, they have this entirely illegible exchange. )
( God, what scintillating dialogue. And what the hell are they back at school for? )
( And now we're at a barbecue. Inexplicably, NERV MUST be there or Misato will get fired. )
( I'm just hoping she doesn't go into romance novels. )
Final Thoughts: This makes yesterday's fic look like gold. Not only are there glaring spelling and grammar errors (Shinji was starring in her eyes?), but the OOCness of it hurts. Since when would Shinji call someone sexy? Asuka is reduced to either rampant bitch or emotional whiner, without any explanation. The Stus are not only boring, but two-dimensional and annoying. And the lack of continuity is astounding. The best part is definitely when Asuka goes back to school - sounds like the author thinks they're in the same grade, even though it's years after Third Impact.
Rating: -8 / -10. Alternate reality my foot. This just sucks.
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[26 Jan 2004|09:53am] |
Even though only five people watch this, anyone handy at icon making? I'd love you forever and possibly give you eternal sex if you made either a "my fandom is more screwed up than yours" / some sort of "attack the mary sues!" icon.
Today's report is going to be a doozy. It should be up after lunch.
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[25 Jan 2004|01:43pm] |
Instead of starting off with the Sixth Child, a Kaworu replacement, or any other general canon rape, I went for...a D&D/Eva crossover?
Story Or Series Title: Remoria Realms
Location: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1693467
Culprit Author's Name: Wep:CREATOR
Summary: Three warriors from another plane appear to protect the pilots from evil. My first Eva fic. It doesn't get more exciting than this, either.
Full Name (plus titles if any): Azel, Dante, and Cerus.
Full Species(es): "an elf, a man, and a half-dragon." I shit you not. Apparently under the control of some random D&Ders in the second chapter.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Azel has "dark-blonde hair draped to waist-length." Cerus is "raven-haired." Nobody knows about Cerus.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Azel, the elf, has "earth-brown eyes." The other two aren't stated.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "His skin had an almost gold luster to it, and his teeth and fingernails resembled claws and fangs." That's Cerus.
Special Possessions (if any): Okay, let's see. Dante has a "bastard sword" and a longsword, apparently, and a full suit of armor. Cerus has a walking stick and later, somehow, a longsword. Azel has a "twisted longbow."
Annoying Origin: D&D, apparently. Yeah, I don't get it either.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: If you can follow this, some cult named the White Hand of God is out to kidnap all the Eva pilots, so the Stu Trio follows them to rescue the pilots. There is absolutely no reasoning behind this besides that they think it looks suspicious.
Annoying Special Abilities: 1337 asskicking skills. Well, duh. It's not like any cult armed with guns can even stand a chance against the Stu Trio.
Other Annoying Traits: Being stuck in some kind of half-assed, illogical crossover that has the Eva pilots' names and not much else.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
( The tense and compelling kidnapping scene! )
( Even MORE tense and compelling is the fight scene. It's supposed to...well, START in chapter 2, but never gets anywhere. )
( It's a shitty crossover or nothing! )
Final Thoughts: Well, thank God, it's only two chapters, and the spelling, grammar, and formatting okay. But the story itself? Incredibly boring and illogical. We go from RAR BIG ANGRY HALF-DRAGON AND CO. to bickering D&Ders, with the pilots' names thrown in maybe three times. I'm just confused as to why this is filed under Eva in the first place, because the canon characters have all of five seconds of screentime.
Rating: -7 / -10. Points for legibility, but not much else.
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